Confronting the Big P

Procrastination is a behavioral phenomenon to which all humans are susceptible. It is staying in your comfort zone. It is taking the easy path. It is letting your fear win (despite the fear being 99% perceived in most cases).

Let me share with you a story.

Dave and the Big P that was eating him
Dave was a business owner in a consulting business. He was dying. Dying of procrastination. His consciousness knew it but he was in a bubble of inertia, spinning round and round. He needed to puncture the bubble. He was going nuts. His procrastination was consuming his being, day in day out.

Time to get to the root of The Big P, no matter what the consequences. Because for some they get to a point where consequences simply don’t matter. They need the cancer chopped out

Dave’s Big P was around a female employee called Joanna and addressing her recent decline in performance.

The probe conversation, positioning Dave’s inaction
Coach: “So Dave, what fears are you harboring in not having that conversation with Joanna about her performance?”

Coachee: “What do you mean?”

Coach: “Well, what is holding you back?”

Coachee: “Er, nothing”

Coach: “OK, so nothing is holding you back but you are not doing it. Help me out here”.

Dave is procrastinating. He could play the busy card too, but he knows I’d throw that back.

We all get hit by The Big P from time to time. Doing the yucky stuff, biting the bullet, eating that frog. Why? Well, a multitude of reasons, most rooted in fear, some laziness. In this case it is case conflict avoidance coupled with what I call scenario skills. That being, how to interpret and respond to what surfaces in a potentially emotional situation. And with experiential learning there is only one way. Just do it.

Getting down to it
Coach: “Dave what is the worst that can happen from having that conversation with Joanna?”

Coachee: “Mm, she gets upset and accuses me of stuff, or worse starts crying”

Coach: “OK. Is your conscience is clear that you have acted with integrity and support in your role as employer. You have no skeletons”

Coachee: “Absolutely”

Coach: “So do you think an emotional release, if that indeed occurs, might get to the heart of the issue?”

Coachee: “Yes”

Coach: “So if the response leads to emotional tipping point and a path to resolution, is this a good thing”

Coachee: “Er, yes”

Coach: “Is this your goal as well?”

Coachee: “Yes”

Coach: “So what are you going to do next week?”

Coachee: “Arrange a meeting with Joanna”.

Coach: “Well done Dave. I’ll call you midweek to see how you are going.

This technique is called positioning and setting scene for action through the coaching conversation. Dave knew it. He knew it all along. He needed to say it. Then act on it. And be held to account for it. For all the right reasons.

The glorious outcome
Dave had the meeting with Joanna the following week. Joanna did not cry. Joanna had an abusive boyfriend at home and felt trapped and vulnerable in this negative relationship. This was hurtful and distracting to her and consumed her emotive energy in the workplace, leading to Joanna sitting on her potential. Dave arranged for a counsellor to be made available for Joanna and she never looked back. After a few months she is more committed than ever and was entered for an IPENZ young engineer of the year award last year. Awesome.

How would Dave have possibly known this without eating the frog and having the conversation? That’s right, he wouldn’t.

This article was first published in The Christchurch Press (www.stuff.co.nz), Careers Section (F7), October 25th 2014